Only fair to note that I did not hear from the Applebot robo-mailer today.
Rather, an actual human being from Apple called me.
We determined that, although all of the im3’s labelled “iPod Photo Compatible” are supposedly just that, it’s clearly not the case here.
Since he can’t guarantee that a replacement would fit; and since Altec Lansing only guarantees compatibility, at the moment, for units purchased directly from them; a return seemed best.
About 90 seconds later he had emailed me a FedEx return label, and a full refund awaits when they receive the speakers.
Can’t ask for too much more than that, really. Oh, and… and this is shocking, when you’re used to dealing with, say, Sprint customer service… he apologized, specifically, for the previous lack of clueful responses.
Like I didn’t already want a G5.